I
hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.Think
about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing
social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull
it all off!
For starters, the majority of
men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as
if they are all frozen in Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when
they - with amazing calm- plan for a last-minute shopping trip.
Once
at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco
products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You
might think thiswould send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my
husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the
11th-hour decision-making burden.)
On this
count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man,
everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a
rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another
problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. Even if the male Santa
did have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he
would inevitably get lost in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to
stop and ask for directions.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.
Father
Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite
guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who
likes to pointfingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the
"Guy" test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. Author Unknown
Posted on
Monday, December 21, 2009
by Karan Gleddie