Everyone Has Blonde Days

Why parents drink

The boss wondered why one of his most dependable and valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.  " Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked. " Yes ," whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?"   The child whispered, " No ."

Surprised and still wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" " Yes ."

"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, " No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.   "Busy doing what?"

" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.  Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle.."ME."

 I  have had one of these months!

Refections from Karan:

THE AUGUST HUSSLE                 

August has always been a stressful month for me.  I am finishing up all the loose ends before fall arrives.  It is also an expensive month, with all the costs of getting the kids ready for school.  New clothes, backpacks, supplies, and trying to get an extra weekend away before those school days, sports, and music lessons take over my life. 

When my children were younger, I could take them to the store and buy their school supplies and clothes, and they were thrilled.  However when they became teenagers, each one had their own distinctive fashion and style.  One of my daughters decided she didn’t want to wear Levi’s anymore; she wanted designer labeled jeans like everyone else.  My husband, Lyle, wasn’t sure what designer was in, but he thought surely as long as it had a name on it, it would work.

While visiting a western-wear store, he found a sale on designer jeans: “Kenny Rogers” with the name and face embroidered on the back pocket.  Wow, he thought he had hit the jackpot and bought two pair. He couldn’t wait to get home and show off his find.  

I had a hard time keeping a straight face when he gave those “Designer Jeans” to our daughter. They say, “A picture is worth a 1000 words.” I wish I had that picture.  She didn’t have the same enthusiasm that my husband had for those jeans, and she said, “I’m not wearing a picture of Kenny Rogers embroidered on my butt.” Who knew?

She never did wear those jeans, and two years later we packed them up and gave them away.

When I think back, I just laugh out loud thinking about those “Kenny Rogers” jeans. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have worn them either.

My husband thought he was giving her a great gift, but she didn’t see those jeans as wonderful.  How often I do the same with God. When he doesn’t give me what I want, or my struggles overwhelm me, I begin to doubt his love and promises.   

Jeremiah 29: 11-14 states, ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord.  ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen. ’” 

It is such a relief to know that God has plans for me, and he is in control.  I have learned I have no control, and get tired of trying to keep up.  My job is to believe his promises and allow him to mold me into his image and follow him.  

Lovingly

Karan

I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!

 In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to be a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing be sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of a walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake up to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.  Yup, gonna be bear!

Author unknown

Need A Job?

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much do you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars? "The man agreed an told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "does she realize that the porch goes all around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 dollars. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."

Reflections from Karan:

'You're just like your mother"                                                                          
People would say, “You’re just like your mother” and I would cringe. At the ripe old age of 15, 20 and 28, those were not the words I wanted to hear. I wanted to be a super mom, you know, the woman that did and had it all. I was going to be organized, clever and insightful at life. No traumatic crisis for me.

My mother came from a harsh background; I think she spent her life trying to work through the difficulties she encountered as a child. She strived to be understanding and kind towards others. Unlike her parents, she achieved her goal. There were painful personal and emotional struggles in her life, as well as great highs. Mother was always optimistic no matter what life handed her. Her motto was: “tomorrow’s a brand new day.”

She worked hard to put a roof over our heads and food on the table, never giving up or expecting handouts. Although others thought we were poor, I can’t say that we ever thought we were. We always had enough, when we outgrew our shoes and clothing; she made sure we had something new to replace the old. I often wondered how she worked her magic with the budget, but as I look back I realize she went without so that my sisters and I would have more opportunities and a few extras.

Mother loved a good deal, so thrift stores, Salvation Army, garage sales and flea markets were thrilling when she found the ultimate bargain.

She loved her flowerbeds and gardening much better than house cleaning and often said she felt closer to God outside. She loved to spend time talking to Him in the quietness of the morning as the sun rose on a new day.

We knew mother loved us, and loved God too. She trusted Him, leaned on Him, and believed His promises would sustain her throughout life. She taught us daily about God’s grace, forgiveness and love. Through her life we were able to see how God faithfully protected and care for our needs. My mother, has given me a lifetime of wonderful memories that are worth more to me than silver and gold.

Now when I hear “you’re just like your mother,” I say thank you. I pray that my children will know how much they are loved, and that they would see the light of God’s love in my life too.©

Lovingly,
Karan

 REAL MOTHERS

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a little voice says, 'Because I love you best.'
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of:


MOMMY TO MOM TO MOTHER

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned .
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it .
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.     unknown                             

 THE MANY FACES OF LOVE

 I DID'T FEEL A THING!

    A young man said to his father at breakfast one morning, "Dad, I'm going to get married."

   "How do you know you're ready to get married?" asked the father. "Are you in love?" "I sure am," said the son. 

   "How do you know you're in love?" asked the father. "Last night as I was kissing my girlfriend good-night, her dog bit me and I didn't feel the pain until I got home."

Source Unknown.

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Dearest Jimmy,

   No words could ever express the great unhappiness I've felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you'll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart, so please forgive me. I love you, I love you, I love you! Yours forever, Marie.

     P.S., And congratulations on willing the state lottery.

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Love at all stages of Life.

"Honey, I think I had a little to much fruitcake."

Reflections from Karan: